What has two horns and will make you suffer for loans?

Eid Al-Adha is soon to arrive, and as always for Moroccans it's arriving surprisingly sooner than expected. And even if the invitation says "Don't bring a date, money is limited" Fat Eid decided to bring a very unwelcome guest School entry expenses which is putting Moroccan families into a bad embarrassing situation where they have to borrow -again- from that neighbor who will make them pay the double back -in order to save the day.

Feast of the Sacrifice (Sounds like Game of Thrones content and form) or Eid Al-Adha is one of two religious holidays celebrated by Muslims worldwide in honor of the willingness of Ibrahim to sacrifice his young first-born son Ismail as an act of submission to God's command before God then intervened to provide Abraham with a lamb to sacrifice instead. Full article Here
Moroccan Muslims celebrate the day every year according to the Islamic calendar, by sacrificing a whole sheep and a whole big size barbecue coal bag.

But this year, school entry decided to interfere by coming also sooner than expected, leaving Moroccans' bank accounts waxed and unable to afford a lamb to sacrifice. This would be a huge disappointment in such a sacred day if it wasn't for the heroes, the nobles the Robin Hoods who decided to donate people money to purchase the lamb they were always dreaming of, in return for that, those people would only have to pay back the money plus a little bit of interest who may seem like Riba which is completely forbidden in the Islam, and celebrating Eid Al-Adha is mandatory for those who can't afford it, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Tanks getting a tan in Morocco

Few days ago, Moroccans along with their king woke up to find out that their country's wealth is not well distributed, the discovery that's competing with Cheb Khaled's "medications heal wounds" in the numbers of 'oh my god is that true's. 

As if this wasn't surprising enough, Moroccans woke up again to see giant green things stretching on some of the country's coasts, some said the the green things are there to fill the few centimeters left in the uncrowded shores, others reported that it's the millions of dollars that used to purchase heavy weapons, hence they found the wealth, but that's wrong, because finding lost things that easy is not a Moroccan tradition.

After long investigations, it turns out that Libya had some MAD also known as mad airplanes disease, a virus that hits the brain of the airplane and makes it rain missiles on other countries, the fatal disease forces the aircraft to ignore the nearest countries such as Italy, Greece and Algeria and jump to Morocco. And this time Morocco is not repeating the same H1N1 washing hands to defeat the virus mistake, they're going big and green, anti aircraft missiles.

Other sources assumed that the danger is coming from Isis, but that's unlikely to happen, because Morocco is an Islamic kingdom, and if Isis is a really a rise of the Islamic state they would do it the classic way ; the overland way! Also because Morocco is an exception.


This leaves us with only one realistic explanation, the heat in the past two days got to everything, even weapons! And it's fresh air time.

God save the Gaza

It is about that time again, where people start changing their Facebook profile picture and keep updating their statuses, talking about one thing, the world cup and the world cup's related stuff, and between the games they show sympathy to Palestinian victims in the encounters between Hamas and the Israeli forces.

 People are separated into two groups ; those who think that writing something such as "God help Gaza" will miraculously provide Palestinians armor, shields, food and medical care, maybe it would work if they used "save" instead of "help" which has been working great for the queen of Britain. There is the other group, a bunch of cynics who believe that putting the flag of Palestine in their Facebook will neither prevent Israelis from attacking nor give Palestinians super-powers to survive those attacks. Those people have lost the right to hope and dream given that they pried many times that Israel stops attacking and the only thing that stopped is the Arab aid and help.

Personally, I prefer cynics, they refuse to deny that they're just an audience and they don't like faking sympathy and pretending to feel the pain Palestinians are going through, because they're just an audience, although, inside them there is a sadness but they hide it well in order to not be part of the "fools" who think weeping and crying would motivate Arab leaders to make a move.

Moroccan parents

People in normal and  sane countries live the four famous stages of life childhood, the beginning of the problems, the problems, death.
In  Morocco people like to do things shortly or in sum, so, there are just three stages : being a Moroccan, being  a Moroccan parent and death or becoming a ghost and have their own temple.

The first stage "Being a Moroccan", begins from birth where a person is just a Moroccan full of contradictions, loves the king and blames the government, wants to go to Sweden in order to bang pretty girls and at the same time wants to keep good faith in Allah... and more in the previous article What is a Moroccan... A Moroccan keeps living the same way until having the first child, and then they go to the next level "the Moroccan parent" this phase has some noticeable symptoms it begins with the pride which can be obvious every time the topic about children pops up -which is all the time
"-This morning my son used the spoon for the first time. I almost cried.
-How old is he ?
-12.
-Is he retarded ? I mean did someone put a spell on him ?
-No
 -Oh ! You must be proud."
The attitude when someone criticizes their children
"-Today my son dropped the spoon on the new carpet... the little dirty ass retard...he's stupid like his father.
- Yeah I agree with that.
-Bitch, how dare you say that about my family ?"
In sane countries people make children in order to see the continuity of their lives or they're sixteen ... Moroccans are smart they feel like pets will poop everywhere and they don't live long so they get a child so the first years to treat him like a pet and after the child become a punching bag every time the Moroccan parent gets angry.
Also when a Moroccan becomes a parent it, they automatically get a sacred shield, and that shield protects them from criticism and arguing with children.
When a Moroccan becomes a parent he/she stops being reasonable -or mostly keeps not being reasonable- like they can do anything and say the famous line "my parents used to do worse and I never said a word", and it never crosses their minds that their parents were terrorists and so were the parents of their parents.

Why does Morocco help the USA ?

If you have been listening, reading or watching news lately you must have heard about the king's visit or 'adventures' in the USA from Moroccan news, and what is going on in the world from American news, including the visit of a third world country's leader to the USA. And you must be aware of  the reason behind it, if not, then this article is written for you.

Some might say that the king is looking for bomb experts to stop his cheeks from exploding. Some others claim that it's the annual meeting of the leaders of the world and the king loves to be part of the audience. But people like to talk and say things without knowing the history and the facts.

Over the past decades, every time things got messed up and the leaders of the USA couldn't find a way out, it meant one thing time to call Morocco for help, this may be surprising but we're talking about facts here  Lincoln was about to give it up in the Civil War who helped him ? Who told Woodrow Wilson to not get involved in the World War I ? Even Kennedy's assassination could be avoidable if he took the armored Mercedes and used some bottles to convince people who disagreed with him, but did he listen ?
And these are just a tip of the iceberg..

The progress that the USA has achieved in the field of human rights is remarkable, people of America can say whatever they want and spend the night at home. This is a good thing, but the leaders of the greatest nation on earth may do a mistake someday or get selfish and that's the human nature, but the problem is people like to criticize and protest which is a bad thing, and the Moroccan decision makers always have the solution.

What is a Moroccan.

Every society raises a stereotypical figure inside the people that belong to it, this figure, or ego to be precised holds some of the society's ideas and beliefs, or all of them -some people don't like the process of thinking- which will be mentioned in the following article.


Superstition : If your hair starts falling it's not due to aging or some health problems, it's either the devils are pissed because you poured hot water at the sink or someone hates and put a spell on you.


Praising or courtesy : One thing a Moroccan hates mostly is a compliment , never compliment a  Moroccan ever! Especially if one or some of your friends got sick someday, this means you're a bad fortune and your compliments may cause a damage.


Criticism : Do not -under any circumstances- try to comment about a Moroccan's decisions or whatever they do or say no matter how wrong it is,  it's worse than asking a woman to calm down when she's storming, it's like telling her "you're fat".


Pride : This is why you can't criticize a Moroccan, because you're jealous of their achievements, skills and beauty and that's due to your lack of any, and not that they did something wrong.


Complaining : Despite it's being a pain in the ass, for Moroccans complaining is a great conversation starter.
 -"hey, the weather is bad in this country"
-"what's not nad in this country ?"
-"exactly"
-"bye"
-"bye, *he/she didn't ask me how I am doing, manners are gone"


Prejudice  : One of the many skills that Moroccans have is the ability to tell your story and who you're according to what you wear, the way you walk or even the food you like, for instance if you like BM-not the car- you are humble and true Moroccan citizen full with noble ideas, otherwise you're a rich uncaring prick. 

Why do 25% of Moroccans suffer from depression ?

Because they live in Morocco.