Moroccan parents

People in normal and  sane countries live the four famous stages of life childhood, the beginning of the problems, the problems, death.
In  Morocco people like to do things shortly or in sum, so, there are just three stages : being a Moroccan, being  a Moroccan parent and death or becoming a ghost and have their own temple.

The first stage "Being a Moroccan", begins from birth where a person is just a Moroccan full of contradictions, loves the king and blames the government, wants to go to Sweden in order to bang pretty girls and at the same time wants to keep good faith in Allah... and more in the previous article What is a Moroccan... A Moroccan keeps living the same way until having the first child, and then they go to the next level "the Moroccan parent" this phase has some noticeable symptoms it begins with the pride which can be obvious every time the topic about children pops up -which is all the time
"-This morning my son used the spoon for the first time. I almost cried.
-How old is he ?
-12.
-Is he retarded ? I mean did someone put a spell on him ?
-No
 -Oh ! You must be proud."
The attitude when someone criticizes their children
"-Today my son dropped the spoon on the new carpet... the little dirty ass retard...he's stupid like his father.
- Yeah I agree with that.
-Bitch, how dare you say that about my family ?"
In sane countries people make children in order to see the continuity of their lives or they're sixteen ... Moroccans are smart they feel like pets will poop everywhere and they don't live long so they get a child so the first years to treat him like a pet and after the child become a punching bag every time the Moroccan parent gets angry.
Also when a Moroccan becomes a parent it, they automatically get a sacred shield, and that shield protects them from criticism and arguing with children.
When a Moroccan becomes a parent he/she stops being reasonable -or mostly keeps not being reasonable- like they can do anything and say the famous line "my parents used to do worse and I never said a word", and it never crosses their minds that their parents were terrorists and so were the parents of their parents.

Why does Morocco help the USA ?

If you have been listening, reading or watching news lately you must have heard about the king's visit or 'adventures' in the USA from Moroccan news, and what is going on in the world from American news, including the visit of a third world country's leader to the USA. And you must be aware of  the reason behind it, if not, then this article is written for you.

Some might say that the king is looking for bomb experts to stop his cheeks from exploding. Some others claim that it's the annual meeting of the leaders of the world and the king loves to be part of the audience. But people like to talk and say things without knowing the history and the facts.

Over the past decades, every time things got messed up and the leaders of the USA couldn't find a way out, it meant one thing time to call Morocco for help, this may be surprising but we're talking about facts here  Lincoln was about to give it up in the Civil War who helped him ? Who told Woodrow Wilson to not get involved in the World War I ? Even Kennedy's assassination could be avoidable if he took the armored Mercedes and used some bottles to convince people who disagreed with him, but did he listen ?
And these are just a tip of the iceberg..

The progress that the USA has achieved in the field of human rights is remarkable, people of America can say whatever they want and spend the night at home. This is a good thing, but the leaders of the greatest nation on earth may do a mistake someday or get selfish and that's the human nature, but the problem is people like to criticize and protest which is a bad thing, and the Moroccan decision makers always have the solution.

What is a Moroccan.

Every society raises a stereotypical figure inside the people that belong to it, this figure, or ego to be precised holds some of the society's ideas and beliefs, or all of them -some people don't like the process of thinking- which will be mentioned in the following article.


Superstition : If your hair starts falling it's not due to aging or some health problems, it's either the devils are pissed because you poured hot water at the sink or someone hates and put a spell on you.


Praising or courtesy : One thing a Moroccan hates mostly is a compliment , never compliment a  Moroccan ever! Especially if one or some of your friends got sick someday, this means you're a bad fortune and your compliments may cause a damage.


Criticism : Do not -under any circumstances- try to comment about a Moroccan's decisions or whatever they do or say no matter how wrong it is,  it's worse than asking a woman to calm down when she's storming, it's like telling her "you're fat".


Pride : This is why you can't criticize a Moroccan, because you're jealous of their achievements, skills and beauty and that's due to your lack of any, and not that they did something wrong.


Complaining : Despite it's being a pain in the ass, for Moroccans complaining is a great conversation starter.
 -"hey, the weather is bad in this country"
-"what's not nad in this country ?"
-"exactly"
-"bye"
-"bye, *he/she didn't ask me how I am doing, manners are gone"


Prejudice  : One of the many skills that Moroccans have is the ability to tell your story and who you're according to what you wear, the way you walk or even the food you like, for instance if you like BM-not the car- you are humble and true Moroccan citizen full with noble ideas, otherwise you're a rich uncaring prick. 

Why do 25% of Moroccans suffer from depression ?

Because they live in Morocco.

If you're not living in Morocco, you're missing a lot

Do you hate your country ? Do you feel like born in the wrong place ? Are you tired of waiting for people to change ? Then you must be not a Moroccan and you should pack your stuff fly, sail or even walk if you have to, because you're missing a lot by not living in Morocco.

Tips about what you are going to waste time reading : the following article is not a "hospitality in Morocco" kind of writings, it's about more, things that only a Proud Moroccan can see and apprecite.


Most people hate their addiction to TV, if you are one of them don't worry, the amount of crap that's being aired on Moroccan channels will get you to burn your TV.


Are you afraid that someday you'll disappear and no one would notice ? That wont be a fear anymore, people here appreciate the gift of senses especially their eyes and ears.


Do you hate your integrity ? Do you wanna stop supporting the truth, and can't do nothing about it ?  It only takes a bottle here to convince you.


Don't you hate how risky journalists' life is ? Do you wanna write about fashion, music, and country's accomplishments and still be called a journalist ? Well, you came to the right place.


Alcoholism is everybody's worst nightmare -in addition to drunken problematic neighbor- so the decision makers in Morocco came up with a strict drinking policy which is putting undercover cops next to liquor stores and bars and once you get drunk they get you to jail.


Imagine you're in a subway thinking how the magician on TV could bring a card out of nowhere, and someone interrupts that by talking about politics and stuff that needs a lot of thinking. Such things don't happen in Morocco because we don't have subways and the decision makers thought it'd be better for people to not talk about politics, so they gave the undercover cops another type of people to arrest.


So are you gonna pack them bags or need a tutorial ?

Ten Moroccan Facebook pages you should like

Morocconize

The title can give a clear idea about the page's content, which is adding the Moroccan flavor to everything in a funny and smart way.

سوتيتراج

Or "subtitling" in a literal translation, but what the page shares is different a bit, it is about taking a picture from a TV show or a movie and put a caption that "rhymes" white the face expressions and the scene.

Dictions Marocaines 

 Have you ever literally pictured what you say ? Well, Jihad Eliassa a Fine Arts College graduate and the page's founder did that by turning famous idioms and expressions into comics.

Moroccan Meme Base

 if you're not allergic to sarcasm and your mind is open, Moroccan Memes Base is a page that you would enjoy.



Sokomoko 

A weird name for a page that provides information for fans. The Moroccan version of  Didyouknow blog is a place that you won't describe by "look another page on Facebook ".



Brain Oil Factory 

The Moroccan Digital Art Community, a gathering place for talented painters, if you appreciate art or not you should take a look at this page.

Humour Politique || تقشاب سياسي

I had to change my profile to anonymous in order to mention this anti-system page... I'm joking, we live in a free country ... I'm joking again.
Humour Politique is a political sarcastic community. If you have a problem liking the regime then it's a good place for you.



Morocco World Wide

For Moroccans that like to get updates about Morocco in English "Hit Like".



Moroccan Football Memes 

Last but not least, a page that makes fun of everything relates to football, if you're fanatic about the team you support, then it's a wrong address for you.



Please note that the pages aren't arranged according to any order, they're equally amazing.

Hesitate no more

Do you find yourself in situations where you feel worse than the publishers who turned down J.K Rowling's book Harry Potter  ?
Don't you just hate it When it's necessary to choose between two things and both are good for your happiness ?
Well I have the solution and it is simple, WHY NOT BOTH ?

Nike Mercurial vs Adidas Nitro-charge ?

Why not both ? They're gonna cost you a fortune and keep your pocket empty for a long time, but the hell with it  #YOLO.

Two girlfriends or boyfriends ?

Why not both ? If you can not call everyone of them not by the other's name and keep them away from your phone then why not ? and you know the best thing a threesome with both of them, you have just to be good in persuading.

Cheesecake vs Ice cream ?

Why not both ? Just think what Somali children would do, or simply listen to your stomach, it never lies.

And the list goes on.

Please notice that this solution is exclusive to dual-choices, you can't blame me if you apply it on multiple choice situations , you'll win nothing if you suit me, even if you would I'll go to jail and everyone will hate you.

Why football rocks and soccer sucks ?

It rhymes, and that's enough to make it a fact, the rest is for expanding your knowledge.

Why football rocks ?

You don't have to be very good to play, good is enough.

If you have money you always win.

You are not susceptible to injury in every minute you play, unlike wrestling  and bull riding/running.

If you're overweight, every game requires two goalkeepers and a referee, you can choose.

Why soccer sucks ?

There is no such thing as soccer, and the name is terrible for a sport.

Morals to get from TV shows.

After watching few TV shows I started wondering if fun in return of wasting time is really a good deal. So I thought it's time to get things that will be useful someday.
Here some of the things :


Friends

While some people have to take drugs in order to stop worrying and being anxious, some would just clean.

Food always comes first.


Two And A Half Men 

Never get an old maid with a funny spirit, or a maid, or a brother.

Never try to fill Charlie Sheen's place, you just gonna suck.


How I Met Your Mother

friends and scrubs aren't over yet.


Breaking Bad

If you get bullied and tired of it ,then it's time for you to start cooking meth.


The Walking Dead

If suddenly the lights go off we know the right people to lead us.


Supernatural

If you want demons to fight you with their bare hands regardless to their super powers or make 10 cm wounds without leaving a scar supernatural is the right place

The first article

The article's title is self explanatory, this is my first article, and I have absolutely  nothing to say and worse I got not camera, I could just capture a beautiful picture of me and say "welcome to my blog", I'm really pissed of that I might blame Benkirane -Abdelhamid Chabat's style- for that ! The reason I'm wasting  Google's precious megabits is that I just have some ideas and I'm not sure whether if the people around me are stupid or it's me who is incredibly smart, I like to believe in the second one not because that I'm arrogant, I just like to bring comfort into people's hearts. It may be because I like to swim upstream when others prefer to be taken downstream because I just find it too mainstream, like for instance I love my eggs to be boiled, unlike a large number of people who love them fried I hate that, and I hate more those who thought of this in a dirty way...
 Anyway pardon me for the minutes you spent reading the lines above, you might never get them back as well as the daily hours you throw away sending and receiving meaningless messages on Facebook or somewhere else.
I'm Salah-Edinne people often call me Salah because life is too short and ain't nobody got time for long names.
I'm Twenty years old, but that's just a lie, my brain stopped growing when I was 14.
I like football, but I hate footballers in fact I'm jealous of them , why should they get paid for practicing a hobby? Life is a bitch that's the answer.
I enjoy spending time doing nothing but watching a TV show.. I just love it when talent meets professionalism a.k.a money, the best duet ever.
I like to make funny comments about the political and economic of course- those too are always mentioned together why should I break them up- in the world and in Morocco of course.
I love girls and cars and money. And I wonder why we love things we don't have ? life is a whore.
I love poetry, especially if the writer is Arab.
Writing and reading are things that I like to do from time to time.

this song is a gift -a bribe- for those minutes you wasted reading this -to share my blog- thanks for visiting. Have a nice time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QKj62RKBrM